There's A Hole In My Bucket List, Dear Donna
by Kitashime
Summary: Fill for prompt on LJ. Left with only a few months to live, Mike Ross sets out on a mission. A mission involving deep-fried Mars Bars, Smallville marathons and epic prank wars. In other words, a bucket list.
1. Of Hospitals and Randy Pigeons

_There's a Hole in my Bucket (List), Dear Donna._

_Filled for an awesome prompt at the suitsmeme on LJ, a heaven for writers like me who are simply too lazy to come up with their own prompts. Hehehe *smiles lazily*_

_As I've said before, if you review and then directly send me a prompt over PM I WILL fill it ASAP, as opposed to you writing an epic prompt on LJ and waiting fruitless months for a poor hapless writer like me to stumble across said epic prompt and then further months for said writer to fill :D I will endeavour to post at least one chapter of the fill within the fortnight, particularly as I only have 19 days left of full time education! *dances happily* And then exams. -.-_

_So I wrote this at one in the morning so my usually OCD-level editing is somewhat hindered by the copious quantities of Red Bull and sugar I have ingested today. Mike would be so very proud :D_

_Please review. One shrivels when one's secret passion is not recognized. Also, reviews are my crack._

_Do not own. Will rob a bank in order to own, but unfortunately said bank remains unrobbed due to copious amounts of coursework due in. If I did own, the boys would be getting it on and we'd know the whole damn can opener secret already._

_Chapter 1:_

It was perhaps the worst part of a doctor's job. To have to sit across from another human being, look soberly into their eyes and gently inform them that they were going to die. Dr Helen Ellis had fulfilled her childhood dream of being a doctor. She had endured long hours of med school, counted out her dwindling funds in order to scrape over the tuition line, seen conditions which would have made weaker stomachs turn violently and remained stoic throughout, never hesitating in her bid to serve the Hippocratic Oath with an ironclad resolve. Bu t when a kid, albeit one whose notes claim he is twenty-five, but aesthetically verging on pre-pubescent, walks into her treatment room with a bright smile and the proverbial mischievous glint in his eye, Dr. Ellis was shaken for what felt like the very first time. It isn't the look of a man –boy- with Stage Three stomach cancer, with one parent and a grandparent already lost to the ravages of the disease. It's the look of a man with his whole future stretching out ahead of him, wide, boundless and free. Dr Ellis almost feels as if she is holding a metaphorical pair of scissors in one hand and the endless flowing ribbon of Michael James Ross' future in the other.

And it breaks her heart.

It takes Mike at least a week to accept it. He feels as if he is floating through whatever life he has left, mindlessly filing briefs, proofing papers and researching clientele until he wakes up the Tuesday after the Appointment, and it hits him that he'll be filing briefs in the hospice unless he does something about it. And so he lies there, at fuck past two in the morning with those randy pigeons he swears he'll get around to castrating one day honking through the open window, when it hits him. He doesn't have the luxury of 'One Day' any more. It is literally now or never. And so, at one-minute-past-fuck-past-two in the morning Michael Ross rolls over, falls out of bed, reaches out to his nightstand, draws out an unused notepad and a well-chewed biro and begins to write a list.

_So... whaddya think? I know it's extremely short but I'm thinking of this as a sort of teaser to the main event :D I think we can all see where this is going :L _

_If you haven't already I suggest you guys read a book called 'Before I Die'. I can't remember who it's by, but it's about this girl called Tess who is dying and writes this amazing list of everything she wanted to do, and somehow all of them happen to her in the last three months she has left. It's an absolutely beautiful book and made me cry, particularly at the end, which I hope to do for at least one of you guys at least once in this story._

_Review please, and I do hate to blackmail but this story cannot grow without a good foundation with which to build on. I'd also like some good ideas to put on the List, so PM or review with ideas :L_

_That is of course to say, REVIEW!_


	2. Of Epic Movie Discussions

_I'll admit it, I wrote this before I even posted the teaser. Sorry, I just really love this prompt. I'm not sure how many chapters there will be, but I have a fairly decent list, but I'd definitely like some more ideas so PM or review if you have any ideas whatsoever. Please?_

_Don't own. Bank still unrobbed. On my to-do list as soon as PE coursework is done. Any requests for upcoming episodes?_

The List remained tucked in Mike's pocket all day at work. He'd pat it absentmindedly as he sped through Louis' briefs, highlighting sections as he chewed a lid thoughtfully. He was determined to leave by at least six, so he'd have time to grab the equipment for the first three items on the List. This was going well.

It wasn't until much later when, whilst flicking through a heavy pile of folders on the way back to his cubicle from the filing room that he found himself suddenly seized by his tie and dragged into an empty office. The files slid from his arms and scattered across the floor, but before he could reach down to retrieve them, a manicured talon slipped under his chin and forced his head up. A fiery mane of hair and an even more fiery expression glared at him to Mike's dismay as Donna wielded a slightly crumpled sheet of A4 at him.

"What is this, Michael?" He would have recognized his scrawling handwriting and the bright red pen anywhere, even if he hadn't pored over the same words over and over last night.

"Nothing. Just an insomnia cure from last night," Mike lied, making as if to snatch the page from the formidable assistant, but she drew the paper out of his reach.

"See that pitiful excuse would work on most people Michael, but unfortunately _I'm_ not most people, am I?"

He resists the urge to add a sarcastic '_ma'am'_ to the end of his surly "No."

"See, I've lost count of the number of times I've dropped off Red Bull at your desk to help you stay awake, so clearly you do not need a cure for insomnia. The fact you've written 'three months' below the 'Things I Want to Do Before I Die' speaks volumes to me, even if I hadn't spoken to Nora at the Mercy Medical Consultancy and asked after my 'little brother'. Cue much sobbing. Now would you like to tell me what the _hell_ is going on?"

"I get the impression you already know."

"Oh I do. I just want to hear it from your mouth."

"I'm going to die. That 'from my mouth' enough for you?"

"Mike…"

"I swear Donna, if you tell anyone at the firm…"

"I won't…"

"Especially not Harvey, he'll rip into me forever."

"He wouldn't…"

"Or Gregory. Or Kyle. Pricks would use it as an excuse..."

"I…"

"Or Louis. God knows he'd…"

"_Michael James Ross_! Shut _up_! I'm not going to tell anyone. Relax." Donna tucked the paper back into the pocket of Mike's jacket and brushed him down, a maternal flood of emotions welling up behind the steely eyes. "Do you… did they tell you how long…"

"Six months. It depends on how fast the cancer is spreading." He noticed her swallow, and it suddenly hits him that he just made Donna Paulsen cry. Donna. Actual tears.

He is so dead.

"Have you started chemo yet?" As Mike looked down at the floor like a chastened schoolboy, Donna's hand flew to her mouth to stifle a gasp. "Do not even think to tell me that you signed a refusal. Michael, I swear to _God_…"

"Donna," Mike's shoulders slumped in defeat as he sat down heavily in the nearest chair, "There is absolutely no point in signing on expensive treatment when I'd only be adding on a few more months of pain for my troubles. Grammy could use…" Donna, unable to stop herself, flung herself forward into Mike's bewildered arms and sobbed incoherently onto his shoulder. He patted her back, unsure of how to comfort her.

"Donna, I…"

"Well this _is_ cozy." Louis Litt, Grande Dick Extraordinaire had arrived with a stack of briefs. "Much as I hate to break up the little bondage -_bonding—_session, but Ross, you had briefs due for me two hours ago." Donna opened her mouth as if to tell Louis exactly where he could stick his stupid briefs, but Mike squeezed her hand, hard. He saw the tiniest flinch before she closed her mouth, rearranged her clothing and marched out of the office, muttering something about rat-faced junior partners belonging in…

Mike neatly sidestepped Louis, pressing the files into his arms before darting quickly through the door, long before Louis can palm off any more papers onto him. He's decided. He's completing the first three items on his list. Tonight.

Jenny Griffiths has encountered many strange things in her life, but a text from Mike, a twenty-five year old mature male, with an almost-college degree and a high-paid job in the city really takes the biscuit.

_Have you got a copy of Mean Girls?- M_

_Are you high?- J_

_Unfortunately not. Do you?- M_

_Do I what?- J_

_Have a copy?- M_

_Wait- you're being serious?- J_

_Yes. –M_

_Then yeah I do. What, you wanna borrow it?-J _

_Nope. On my way over to yours. Bringing food. See you in ten- M_

Food turns out to be six pretzels, three crêpes, two huge bags of hot popcorn and a deep-fried Mars Bar.

"What is all this?" Jenny asked, as Mike deposits the food bag in her kitchen. "You buy something from every street vendor you saw on the way over?"

"Pretty much," Mike agreed, unwrapping the Mars bar and breaking off an experimental chunk, examining it with vague interest before putting it in his mouth. Jenny feigned retching into the sink as Mike held out the rest of the bar to her.

"It's good Jen. Seriously."

"Did I mention that I am now a vegetarian?"

"There's no meat in it."

"Just get that shit out of my kitchen. Now."

Mike grinned, swallowing the rest of the bar before hefting the rest of the food bag into the living room and spreading it on the coffee table. Jenny's TV is already lit up with the title credits of Mean Girls and she couldn't help but laugh as Mike hit play.

"What brought this on? Doing a little research before gender-reassignment surgery?" Jenny quipped, reaching for a crêpe.

"Something like that," Mike answered, through a mouthful of pretzel.

"I think we're gonna have to talk to Grammy about the talking with mouth open thing. What were you raised by, wolves?

"It's cool, I've got Grammy Confession in the morning. I'll only get an extra swipe round the head for your troubles. Oh yeah, what are you doing next weekend?"

"What is this Michael, National Spontaneity Day?"

"Actually it's HIV Awareness Week, but…" Mike broke off laughing as he noticed Jenny unconsciously mouthing the words as Lindsay Lohan whined them.

"Jesus, you know every line in this movie?"

"It's THE quote movie, even us poor souls without eidetic memories know this movie backwards. It's like compulsory at girl slumber parties. It's like the ultimate movie."

"No. Forrest Gump is the ultimate movie. I mean come on, which genius came up with a millionaire shrimp boat captain-slash-ping pong champion? And hey, the protagonist is called Jenny too. And she's blonde."

"I sincerely hope the comparison ends there, Michael. Her being a stripping, gold-digging hippy and all. Oh and dead."

"Well, I'd like the first part…" All the air was suddenly knocked out of Mike as a slim, 5'4 juggernaut suddenly hit him in a surprisingly efficient rugby tackle. "I suppose that would be a no then…. "

_I am wholly ashamed of this chapter. It is terribly written and terribly edited so I apologize.*Falls to knees*I am currently at war with my writing style, it's just terrible. Ugh. What's wrong with me?_

_And a heads up to my reviewers, thank you! Reviews are my crack after all ;)_

_Spedreader- You'll just have to wait and see ;)_

_Skypieces- You're welcome!_

_1stBonesFan- Me too honey, me too :'( Unless of course…_

_Le Squeal- I haven't quite decided. If you or anyone else can actually find the page on Suitsmeme about this prompt and link to the fill please do, since I've lost the page :'(_

_PocketPamela- Interesting in a good or bad way? o.O And whump!Mike prompts are literally my crack! I love the amusement park idea and I'll see when I can write a chapter on it. I'm going away on Wednesday so I don't know if I'll have time to write *sob* but I'll definitely add it to the bucket list. Please, more ideas for bucket list chapters. Need. Now._

_Today-Only-Happens-Once- That is an adorable idea. I might use that as my multiple sobs chapter because I already have ideas about where that can go :D_

_Review my lovelies, please? _

_Hoping to have the next chapter up by Friday next week, but ideas for the bucket list are much needed!_

_Oh and if anyone wants to pop over to the now dead Demons Archive to read a slightly better story written please do. __Heels and Hearts by Kitashime__. Seriously, go look at how much better my writing style once was. *sob*_

_Love, Kit xx_


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